Read the original article on Stern.de (in German).
Swapping meetings and business pitches for whips and chains might sound like a drastic decision, but after 24 years in the business world, that is exactly what I did. And honestly? It was one of the best decisions of my life. This is not just a story about leaving an industry; it is about finally embracing my true self, unapologetically. To understand why I walked away from a life of corporate prestige to become a professional Dominus, we have to start at the beginning - when ambition first became my guiding star.
A Childhood Forged in Ambition
I was born in Frankfurt am Main in 1982 to a German father and a British mother with Austrian roots. Ours was a household where ambition was not just valued - it was revered. My father, a towering figure in the printing industry, held senior leadership roles as President of Sales or Managing Director, orchestrating multi-million-euro deals with an ease that mesmerised me as a child. Business was not just his career; it was his art form.
Some of my earliest memories are of sitting at business dinners, observing my father work his magic. Whether charming clients with his charisma or closing deals with steely determination, he embodied power and influence. I learned to network before I even knew what the word meant, watching him effortlessly build relationships and seal deals. To me, he was an adventurer navigating the exciting world of business.
My mother, however, balanced out my father's intensity with her British-Austrian sensibility. While my father instilled ambition and drive in me, my mother taught me empathy and compassion. Her quiet wisdom grounded me, ensuring I did not become hardened by my father's demanding worldview. Together, they created a foundation that would influence not only how I approached my career but also how I engaged with people on a deeper, more personal level.
Our family's frequent moves - from Munich to Paris to Bern and eventually to Marlow in the UK - exposed me to a variety of cultures and social structures. At the International School of Bern, I mingled with the children of diplomats and CEOs, including - rather bizarrely - the future North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. Later, at John Hampden Grammar School in High Wycombe, I found myself in a stricter British educational environment. Although the school provided an elite education, its rigid structure often felt stifling. I craved something unorthodox, something that allowed me to break free from convention.
The Dot-Com Dream and Suppressed Desires
By the time I turned 17, the dot-com boom was in full swing, and I was captivated. While my classmates were busy applying to universities, I was already dreaming of building a tech empire. Together with a group of friends, I launched my first start-up. None of us knew what we were doing, but that did not matter; we were convinced that success was inevitable. Ferraris and endless champagne seemed just around the corner.
For a while, it felt like we were on the brink of something monumental. We had investors and a bold vision. Then the dot-com bubble burst, and reality hit hard. The company collapsed, leaving me with my first taste of entrepreneurial failure. Despite the setback, I was hooked on the thrill of building something from the ground up.
Around the same time, I had my first significant relationship, and with it, my first awakening to my unconventional sexual preferences. My girlfriend introduced me to the world of dominance and submission, bondage, and pain. I realised that these dynamics brought me immense pleasure. But this was the late 1990s and early 2000s, a time when such preferences were rarely discussed openly. I felt like a sexual outsider, unsure of how to reconcile my desires with societal norms. So, I did what many people in my position might do: I suppressed them. My kink became my secret, hidden even from myself for years to come.
Chasing Success and the Cost of Suppression
After the dot-com bust, I continued chasing success in the tech and business worlds. Over the years, I co-founded and managed several start-ups, each with varying degrees of success. I joined Vibrant Media in 2005, selling ad-tech before "ad-tech" was even a buzzword. On the surface, I was thriving. I built relationships, closed deals, and climbed the corporate ladder. But inside, I felt like a cog in a profit-driven machine.
During this time, I got married. Like many aspects of my life, my marriage seemed perfect from the outside but was far more complicated beneath the surface. My wife and I grew apart, particularly sexually. We both wanted different things but could not articulate what those were. By 2012, we amicably decided to separate.
The divorce was both painful and liberating. It marked a turning point in my life, particularly when I moved to Berlin for five months afterward. Berlin - a city known for its thriving kink scene and open-mindedness - offered me a space to finally explore the parts of myself I had hidden for so long. I discovered that my preferences were not as niche as I had thought. There were communities, events, and even words to describe my identity. For the first time, I felt seen. I realised that I did not have to hide who I was anymore.
The Breaking Point: Burnout and Reflection
Despite my personal awakening, my professional life continued to follow the same draining patterns. I would dive into new projects with enthusiasm, only to find myself burned out within months. By my early thirties, the cumulative stress had taken a toll on my mental and physical health. The excitement I once felt for innovation had been replaced by a persistent sense of emptiness.
My first significant burnout came after a series of failed ventures and a particularly gruelling stint at a tech company. I tried to cut back on work and focus on self-care, but the demands of the business world made it nearly impossible. It was not just the long hours and constant pressure; it was the realisation that I was no longer passionate about what I was doing. Something had to change.
"Why Do You Not Become a Professional Dominus?"
The turning point came in 2016 when I was in the process of building yet another start-up, Orvitas. I needed a way to fund myself without falling into the trap of consulting contracts that left me exhausted. A friend jokingly suggested, "Why do you not become a professional Dominus?" At first, I laughed. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. By then, I had been involved in the kink community for several years. I had the skills, the knowledge, and the passion. Why not turn my personal interests into a career?
Through my connections in the kink scene, I began training under one of Hamburg's most renowned Dominas. The work was transformative. Unlike the corporate world, BDSM required emotional depth, intuition, and a deep understanding of human psychology. My clients were not faceless corporations with endless budgets; they were real people with vulnerabilities, desires, and a need for connection. For the first time, I felt like I was doing work that truly mattered.
The autonomy was intoxicating. I set my own hours, chose my clients, and created a space where people could explore themselves safely and without judgment. It was not just a job; it was a calling. And for the first time in years, I felt genuinely fulfilled.
From Suppression to Acceptance
Parallel to my professional journey, I was also coming to terms with my sexuality. Looking back, the signs of my bisexuality had always been there, but societal conditioning had made it difficult for me to accept. The kink community provided a space where I could explore this aspect of myself without fear or shame. It was liberating to finally embrace who I was, fully and unapologetically.
My newfound self-acceptance extended to other areas of my life as well. I began prioritising my mental health, setting boundaries, and letting go of the relentless pursuit of traditional success. The more I embraced my authentic self, the more I realised how much I had been holding myself back.
A New Chapter in Berlin
In late 2018, I moved to Berlin permanently. The city's vibrant kink scene and open-minded culture felt like home. I continued to work as a Dominus, now under the name Master Samael, while also exploring my identity further. However, new laws requiring professional Dominas and Domini to register as sex workers created complications with my business ventures. Reluctantly, I put my professional BDSM work on hold.
Despite this setback, Berlin provided me with a supportive community and a space to grow. I became deeply involved in the LGBTQ+ and kink scenes, finding friendships and connections that enriched my life in ways the corporate world never could. These years were a period of healing and self-discovery, setting the stage for the next chapter of my life.
The Final Epiphany
By late 2022, burnout had caught up with me again. My therapist warned me that I was on the brink of a health crisis. The constant pressure, the endless chase for success - it had to stop. I realised that the business world no longer aligned with my values or my vision for my life. It was time to let go.
The catalyst for my final decision came in December 2023 when I met Raphaela Morning. Raphaela, a proud sex worker, radiated joy and confidence. Her unapologetic embrace of her identity inspired me profoundly. Our connection deepened quickly, and her courage gave me the push I needed to leave the business world behind for good.
Studio Atrium: A New Beginning
At the start of 2024, I made a commitment to myself: this would be the year I fully transitioned to a new life. I closed out my remaining business commitments and focused entirely on my work as a professional Dominus. Then came an incredible opportunity: I was invited to join Studio Atrium, Berlin's premier BDSM studio, led by Germany's most renowned Dominus "der Dominus" - Kolja-Andre Nolte, who has been an inspiration and role model. It felt like everything had come full circle. This was where I was meant to be.
Today, my life is unrecognisable from what it was a decade ago. I no longer work for faceless corporations; I work with real people, creating spaces where they can explore their desires openly and safely. My work is filled with dignity, meaning, and connection, giving me a fulfilment I never found in my years in the corporate world.
Leaving the business world was one of the hardest but most necessary decisions of my life. For over two decades, I chased a vision of success defined by power and wealth, believing it would bring me happiness. But what I truly value is autonomy, freedom, and human connection. BDSM work allows me to be my authentic self, offering a satisfaction I have never experienced elsewhere.
To anyone considering a similar shift, my advice is simple: listen to your inner voice. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is let go of the past and step into the unknown. For me, there is no turning back - I have found my place, and for the first time, I truly feel at home.